You have lost a very dear person. The sense of aloneness is almost unbearable. You have almost no energy, even for ordinary tasks. Heck, especially for ordinary tasks. Putting one foot in front of the other is a chore. What on earth to do?
After Howard died, I was exhausted. Three years later when I lost my friend Steve suddenly, I was in shock for awhile, then I just wanted to go out and tackle a stranger to have someone to talk to. That impulse eventualy passed, when I realized my good friends were willing to be there for me.
I had to force myself out of the habit of doing nothing. Thinking and writing helped me a lot. This is when I began my journal. After awhile, I could step back and see my thoughts unfold. I became more objective about my situation, I was very lucky in this regard. Still, this can work for anyone. It can work for you, as you respect and honor your own thoughts and feelings. Accept them, all of them.
Write letters too! I find that my friends like to get letters, especially snail mail, the old fashioned kind you can hold in your hand, keep in a folder, and reread. Okay, that’s pretty retro, but my friends and myself are like that. I like to write letters to friends which highlight parts of my day which were meaningful or full of accomplishment. This lifts my spirits and motivates me to plan for the future.
Don’t give into the temptation to do nothing. Idleness and fretting can become a damaging habit, keeping you from healing. Instead, plan something. It can be as simple as a visit to a neighbor or your own lunch, or as complex as a road trip. I find the twin pursuits of daydreaming and planning keep me looking forward, and that is a good thing!
Another hint: Engage with people whenever you can. I found that isolation was my greatest enemy and that my friends and people in general were vital to my healing.
Journalling helped me chronicle my thoughts and became like a ladder out of a gloomy past. I acknowledged my negative thoughts but did not invite them to stay. I quickly regained my identity and sense of worth. I like the idea that I can preserve my best ideas and share them too, so now I have this blog that keeps me thinking and writing!
You can track your growth if you write your thoughts down, with dates. That is how I gradually became my own therapist.
Here’s a link to entertain and surprise you, as you recover your footing. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moxie I assumed I knew what “moxie” was!